I really didn’t want anybody to know about this… not my husband… not ANYONE! I just wanted to sweep it under the carpet and pretend it never happened – you know… like a little b^%ch… but then I look up at my inspiration wall and read “Don’t be a little bi^%h” – Aquo… that’s right I said it. Guess it’s time I owned my own baggage…
I have always kind of been ashamed to use my disability card because I know I have bought myself back to be an abled body again – not completely at the moment – that will take time yet. I mean it’s been six years since my accident and I have just started to be able to move my hand from side to side (supernation & pronation) and I’m getting a bit of flexion at the elbow – It’s almost time to start working on my right hook again. Yeah – that’s not going to happen… I’m a lover not a fighter these days… The world needs more lovers than fighters now more than ever, there is so much evil out there.
I think I have just turned into an adult… a real adult! See – I wasn’t an adult before my accident, I was far from it! Then when I had the accident I spent years behaving as if I was a 12 year old child all over again – not by choice I might add. That’s what happens with traumatic brain injuries, they really are a silent disability that not many people can understand. I’m lucky I have some awesome neighbors who I feel I can talk to but I still feel like nobody understands me.
I think it’s pretty a incredible comeback I have had to this point… and I’m not done yet! I have this incredible drive and energy going on that has helped me level out a lot! It has helped me overcome some demons that I’ve seen take down some of the strongest people. The mind has a lot to answer for – no two people see the exact same thing… in any situation… ever!
I’VE LEARN’T HOW TO BETTER DEAL WITH MY EMOTIONS!
This brings me back to sugar cane farming – I can honestly tell you from personal experiences that the reason there are so many marriage breakdowns, cheating scandals and the like, in this district, and probably every other sugar cane farming districts, is because no two people see the same thing… no matter how united they are.
This is because of decisions made back in the 90’s are still affecting some farms out there now – and let me tell you, it sucks – it sucks on a different level. This is what nobody understands, it’s always oh the poor farmers, the poor farmers and then the other party is labeled the homewrecker… How about the other party? why should farming mean they are supposed to be unhappy?
YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR OWN HAPPINESS!
It has always been my life’s plan to end up being a farmers wife, but let me tell you – that label comes at a high price – your mental health! Kudos to all the old birds that are out there who stuck through the really really really hard times and came out the other side swinging! I think why this is affecting me so much is because it has become a massive, massive distraction from my boys and my startup – Building an empire is full on, but I know I have it in me, I have the drive to get what needs to be done, done and set up an add on to our empire.
NOTHING WILL CHANGE UNLESS YOU MAKE IT HAPPEN!
What’s even cooler is how my personal development over the last few months has helped me grow in so many ways, and understand how to manage my life better to achieve more in the 24 hours god gives us everyday! It has helped me focus on what really matters (my family) and has proven to me that “adulting is harddddd!” – but it’s all good! I am now so so strong, how do I know this – become a farmers wife and you will see!
UNIVERSE, YOU CAN TRY TO KNOCK ME DOWN, AS MUCH AS YOU WANT… BUT I WILL CONTINUE TO GET UP STRONGER AND STRONGER EVERYTIME!